The Genesis of Loans

Long, long time ago, in the beginning, the officer created the Loans Section. Now, the section was without form and void, darkness was over the blue desk. The loan applications hovered.

 

And the officer said, “Let there be rates,” and lo and behold, the e-mail brought forth various rates. The officer saw that the rates were good, and she separated the Libor from the loan rates. And there was silence — the first day.

 

And the officer said, “Let there be an expanse between the Loans Section to separate it from the CSR and the Tellering Sections.” And it was so. The officer called head office, and there was evening, and there was morning — the second day.

 

And the officer, “Let the printouts be printed and be gathered to its ledgers, and let the loan reports appear.” The officer commanded the computer to print out the reports, and used them to help the section. And the officer saw that it was good.

 

The officer said,” Let the checks produce funds for the clients.” And the officer saw that the clients were happy, and it was good. And there was evening, and there was morning, the third day.

 

And the officer said, “Let there be a tempus in the table’s expanse to catalogue loan schedules, repricings, maturities and extensions, and let them serve as signs to mark days and months.”

 

And it was so, and the officer created two great loan programs. And the officer saw that it was good. And there was morning — the fourth day.

 

 

And the officer said, “Let the section teem with all sorts of forms — promissory notes, deeds of assignment, etc. — until loan forms covered the face of the earth. And it was so. The loan officer reviewed them and said to them, “Ye shall be fruitful and multiply the number of our loans and fill our branch target to the brim. Yea, til we win the Branch of the Year Award.” And there was evening, and there was morning — the fifth day.

 

And the officer said, “It is not right for the section to be lonely.” So, the officer took a lump of ink and paper and formed a loans staff into an image, into a likeness.

 

“Let him have all dominion over all these rates, reports and applications and every creeping document that creepeth on his desk,” she said.

 

And the Loans Staff was created, and the officer saw that he was good — good-looking. The officer saw all that she made, and it was good. And there was morning — the sixth day.

 

And the seventh day came, the day of rest. But there was no rest for the officer and the loans staff, since the loan applications came and covered the branch as the waters covered the sea. Both worked hard overtime and satisfied the clients.

 

And the manager saw what they did, and he said, “That, is very good.”

 

 

Far East Bank News (1995)